In Which I Drive a Miniature Car and It Makes Me Think About My Feelings
/So I went go kart racing the other day. No, seriously, I did.
Read MoreSo I went go kart racing the other day. No, seriously, I did.
Read MoreIt’s winter. I heard there was a huge snow storm in a bunch of places around the country. I assume that when it’s really snowy and cold out, it’s probably pretty difficult to go outside. If you have preschoolers or toddlers and you are trapped in your house, I’m sorry. That must be terrible. It rained here for about four hours in the morning last week and I seriously thought about moving. Then I thought, no, that won’t work, the kids will just unpack all the boxes right after I pack them. And they might shove me into one of the boxes and tape me up inside. Then I thought, wait, that doesn’t sound so bad actually…but no, they'd probably get inside the box with me, tape us all up together somehow, and we’d be stuck in there forever.
Read MoreA terrible thing happened last week. We took our four-year-old to visit a preschool.
Read MoreI was pushing the boys on the swings at our favorite park one day when a kid ran up carrying a gun. The boy was maybe ten years old. He was white. He had blond hair that was short and fuzzy. And oh, I should probably mention, the gun was a toy.
Read MoreI don’t know about you, but there are few things I love more than Sofia the First.
Sometimes we’ll be watching an old episode and my four-year-old will lose interest. He’ll start jumping off the couch or whatever. Even worse, sometimes he wants me to do something else with him before the episode is over. He’ll be all like, “Daddy, Daddy! Let’s pretend you think I’m in the TV.” Meanwhile, I’m like, “Dude, chill. We can pretend you’re trapped inside the TV for the two thousandth time today in a few minutes. Right now I need to find out if Sofia and her pathetic horse Minimus are going to overcome incredibly long odds––like the Sixers wining the NBA championship type of odds––to win this flying horse derby thing and in the process if that little jerk Prince Hugo is going to get his comeuppance.”
Read MoreWell, I can't say I'm too surprised he got some negative reviews. I mean, my most recent dining experience looked like this...
But hey, looks like he's doing something right!
(Thanks to the editors at Razed for running with this!)
It finally happened. My four-year-old broke my nose with his head. Let’s be honest, we all knew it was only a matter of time.
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