Fine, I’ll Write About Distance Learning Again
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I’ve resisted writing much of anything the past couple of months because I knew if I was going to write anything during this impossible time, it was probably going to be about distance learning. And who really wants to read one more word about that?
Oh well. I’m raising the white flag. I feel like I should write something to document my existence during the weirdest October ever, and since the only note I left myself in my writing file during the last six weeks is now the completely indecipherable “Chef Boyardee Pizza?”, it has to be distance learning.
Nine weeks into the school year, we’ve pretty well established our routine. Each of the boys have their own schedules that don’t line up at all, really, so sometimes both of them are on the computer doing live class and sometimes one is on and the other is on break.
My third grader has one long break in the middle of the day when he’s supposed to be doing specials (music, art, PE) and having lunch. He typically spends that time eating lunch (check), rushing through his special, and watching YouTube or playing Roblox, which is kind of art/PE/music if you think about it in a certain way.
The first grader has smaller breaks interspersed throughout the day, so I have to set the timer on the microwave every time he finishes a live session. We have yet to miss a live lesson, which is frankly miraculous. Speaking of miraculous, he typically spends his break times eating and watching Miraculous Lady Bug on Netflix, which is kind of like learning French culture since the show is set in Paris.
I listen in on their live lessons often and both grades are entertaining in their own ways. The first-grade class is fun because of its utter predictability. For example, when the teacher asks a question like, “Who can tell me something you smell?” and the first child says “pizza,” there is a one hundred percent chance that at least seven of subsequent eight students will also say “pizza.” The eighth student? That one will tell a story or anecdote about a completely unrelated topic.
One day, when the class was working on the ST blend, the teacher asked for any examples and the first boy she called on proudly shouted “STUPID!” You could see in real time the teacher mentally scrapping her lesson plans for the SH blend.
The third-grade classroom is actually more chaotic because most of the kids seem to be more on their own and not under continual parental observation. So, the teacher spends a very large portion of the class time repeating instructions for how to navigate to different places in the virtual classroom and answering the eternal question that a student asks every three to five minutes: “What are we supposed to be doing?”
I honestly don’t know how the teachers maintain their sanity and I’m sure they are hanging by a thread, but their composure is quite remarkable.
The virtual learning experience has also reminded me how different the two boys are. My third grader is hesitant to speak up during live classes and he prefers to keep his camera off, while my first grader raises his hand for literally every question the teacher asks and gets disappointed anytime he’s not called on.
If I would’ve been in their shoes as an elementary school student, I would have been like my quiet third grader, but even more worried about it. The first grader, on the other hand, is like an alien to me. Though it is fun to see how the other half lives.
You may have noticed I haven’t mentioned my other child. Yes, I have three. There’s a simple reason for that. She’s only four and not in school yet, so I don’t know what she’s doing. I assume she’s over there somewhere.
But seriously, we have gotten her to participate in the boys’ music and PE lessons occasionally, she watches a ton of YouTube, and I still play dolls with her about five hours per day (give or take) so if she gets to go to kindergarten next year, she should definitely be ready.
Nine weeks into infinity weeks of distance learning and we’re doing OK, I guess? We’ve all learned some important things and there have been a few transcendent moments.
Like the one time my first grader’s Spanish teacher finally used a word from the lyrics of Despacito during class (“sauvecito”). My first grader perked up so fast! Who needs coffee when stuff like that happens?
The answer is I do, and so does my first grader from time to time (even though he’s more of an iced chai fan). But the fun little surprises do provide a shot of energy as well. And we need all the shots of energy we can get right now.