News Flash: Kids Can Change Quickly
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IMAGE ALT TEXT: Little girl at the playground, red-faced and sweaty, smiling at the camera.
It’s easy to forget how fast your kids can change until they remind you.
I was sitting on a bench at the playground looking through my phone when I realized something was off. My two sons were at camp for the day, and after we dropped them off, my 5-year-old daughter and I stopped by a park as we typically do during camp weeks. So, why was my daughter not imploring me to play hide-and-seek, help her with the monkey bars, or morph into a monster made of lava?
I looked up and spotted my little girl on the other side of the climbing equipment talking to two other girls who looked to be about her age. After a moment, they raced away, chasing each other around and over the bars and platforms and slides.
A few minutes later, my daughter trotted over to me, red-faced and breathing heavily, took a sip from her water thermos, and told me she was going to ask those girls if they wanted to play sneaky-hide-and-seek-freeze, which probably doesn’t mean anything to you, but I recognized it as the game she invented for us to play together a few days prior at this same playground.
She raced off and I watched as she got the girls’ attention and, I assume, schooled them on the intricacies of sneaky-hide-and-seek-freeze. The three girls played together happily for quite a while before one of them had to leave, at which point my daughter made us leave as well so we could stalk them in our car as we left the parking lot, hoping to ascertain which direction they were heading and possibly wave out the open window if the opportunity presented itself.
This little interaction might not seem like much, but for most of her life, this daughter of mine who recently turned five steadfastly refused to participate in organized activities, said she would never attend school (she hasn’t yet, but that’s coming up next and she’s now excited about it), and routinely ducked her head and hid behind my leg when any child or adult attempted to engage her in conversation or play.
Of course, this transformation didn’t happen overnight. I had observed signs of her coming out of her shell and growing in confidence over the past several months as she began to attend group tennis lessons and played more with children in the neighborhood. However, this moment was unique because not only was she participating, but she was also leading. I never would’ve imagined that she would be organizing games with children she just met.
I remember enough about being a kid that I know it’s not always as easy as it looks. Even without the responsibilities or stressors of adulthood, there can be plenty of anxiety if you know where to find it. And boy did I know where to find it. One of my biggest and most consistent fears as a parent is that I will pass on my predisposition toward anxiety to my children, and while it certainly still could happen, so far things on that front are going better than I expected.
I’m continually in awe of how all my children can make things that I know from experience are hard look easy. Not all the time, but so many times! Adjusting to new activities and places, making new friends, coping with loss and disappointment.
This time, my daughter went from being too shy to ask a potential new friend to play her games at the playground to, just a few days later, corralling two girls and teaching them the extremely complex game of sneaky-hide-and-seek-freeze. Sure, they didn’t play it correctly, but that’s on them, not her.
If only personal growth and development were so seemingly effortless for us adults. Perhaps I should try incorporating sneaky-hide-and-seek-freeze when I’m looking to make a change in my life. That could just be the missing ingredient.
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