I started writing down my life goals and it turned out to be a list of places where I want to nap, but haven’t yet
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) February 12, 2018
One recent Saturday morning, I escaped the house with my 6-year-old son to pick up coffee from a drive thru. It was a bit more mundane than some of our weekend outings pre-2020, but grading on the pandemic curve, it was probably one of the most exciting things we did all month.
Read MoreMy 5-year-old and I have many deep and profound conversations at night while we’re lying in his bed. Well, deep and profound might be a bit of a stretch, but they are sometimes interesting, and I often learn a thing or two about his day.
Read More
4 y.o.: You know what I wish?
Me: What do you wish?
4 y.o.: I wish that I could be a PJ Mask.
Me: Oh yeah? Me too. But I want to be the one that doesn’t dress up and just stays home and sleeps at night instead of catching bad guys.
4 y.o.: …
****
4 y.o.: I wish there were fireworks that you can just see but don’t make any noise.
Me: Yeah.
4 y.o.: Because then I wouldn’t be scared.
Me: Mm-hmm.
4 y.o.: That would be amazing.
****
4 y.o.: Why do they call these hands?
Me: That's just what they're called.
4 y.o.: Why do they call these noses?
Me: That's just what they're called.
4 y.o.: *asks same question for every body part*
Me: *falls asleep, wakes up a couple house later*
4 y.o.: Why do they call these shirts?
****
*Listening to 80s music on the radio*
4 y.o.: What does that mean? Everybody wants to rule the world.
Me: Like everybody wants to be in charge. Everybody wants to be king of the world.
4 y.o.: Why do people want to do that?
Me: I don't know. Power. Greed. Ego?
4 y.o.: Because it's nice?
Me: Sure.
4 y.o.: The Christmas train movie is my favorite movie.
****
4 y.o.: When will I be old enough to watch SpongeBob? I do like it.
Me: NEVER
****
4 y.o.: When you swim are you supposed to cover your nose and mouth with your hand so you don’t get water in them?
Me: I don’t know if that’s possible.
4 y.o.: But are you?
Me: Yes.
****
J: If we eat all the apples there are zero apples.
Me: Right.
J: If there are no trees left on earth there are zero.
Me: Yes?
J: If there is no sun there are zero.
Me: Ok.
J: I wish the sun would go away because it's too hot.
Me: But we need it or earth would be too cold.
J: But I like it cold.
Me: It would be very, very cold without the sun.
J: I like it very, very cold.
Me: Ok fine.
J: There is supposed to be a polar bear in the house at Christmas.
Me: ...
Don’t forget! My book, Fatherhood: Dispatches From the Early Years, is now available for immediate purchase at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and pretty much all of your favorite online book retailers. Paperback and ebook versions are both available. Don’t wait…everyone is doing it! (And by everyone I mean more than zero people.)
My 4-year-old, Jacob, saw my niece, Charlotte, get a can of Coke out of my mom's refrigerator and he had a few pointed questions...
Jacob: What did Charlotte get out of your refrigerator?
My mom: It's called Coke. It's a kind of drink.
Jacob: Can I have some?
Mom: No, it's not very good for you.
Jacob.: Why is Charlotte having it?
Mom: Well, I guess a little is OK for older kids and adults.
Jacob.: Why is it bad for you?
Mom: It has a lot of sugar.
Jacob: I like sugar.
Mom: Yes, but too much isn't good for you.
Jacob: If those drinks are so bad, why do we have them on earth?
Mom: That's a good question. I don't know really.
Jacob: Well, why do you have them in your refrigerator?
Mom: ...
#Owned
