I started writing down my life goals and it turned out to be a list of places where I want to nap, but haven’t yet
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) February 12, 2018
The line snaked around in front of us, chasing its tail slowly. It was like the queue for Disney ride but the reward for making it through was confusion about where to go next. We assured the kids it would move quickly but we were lying. It was slow. Slower than slow.
Read MoreI had just picked out my purchases when my daughter coughed once, hesitated for a moment, and emptied the contents of her stomach onto her tulle (maybe?) skirt and the linoleum floor
Read MoreParenting is hard. It’s physically and emotionally draining. The days can feel endless, and perhaps even worse, the nights can feel even longer. Is there something longer than endless? Yes. Webster’s defines “longer than endless” as nights spent with children who don’t sleep and also the amount of time it takes for children under age seven to get dressed in the morning.
Read MoreI was walking towards the Alamo on a warm February night in San Antonio thinking about horses that pull carriages, as one does.
Read MoreChange is an inevitable part of life. Time makes you bolder. Children get older. The soreness you experience after playing a tennis tournament lingers for several extra days. On the other hand, things that used to bother you, suddenly don't seem so important anymore. Like dirt. In particular, your children's fascination with it.
Read MoreSure, she looks cute and innocent, but when it comes to competition, she’s cold-blooded.
Read MoreThis is Two
Two is sticky. Sticky hands. Sticky faces. Sticky hair. Sticky tables. Sticky everything.
Read MoreThis year I've taken a new tact when my kids are arguing with each other or whining to me. I say to them in my most serious voice, "That's enough. It's 2019. No one has time for this!"
Read MoreYou might find this hard to believe, but I wasn’t a big fan of Chuck E. Cheese even when I was a kid. There was just something about it. I’m not sure what. Perhaps the fact that it’s a life-sized petri dish filled with every strain of virus and bacteria known to man? Yes, that’s probably it. Fun fact: There are a couple of bacterial strains that exist only inside Chuck E. Cheese. The “E” stands for Escherichia.
Read MoreMy four-year-old went to the dentist this week for his third of four restorative appointments. It’s been a slog trying to undo four years of poor dental hygiene, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. That light got a little bit brighter today at the end of his appointment, but as is the fear, it turned out to be an oncoming train.
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