I started writing down my life goals and it turned out to be a list of places where I want to nap, but haven’t yet
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) February 12, 2018
[In a preschool parking lot at 8:32 a.m. on a Friday. It is an unseasonably warm morning in February.]
Dad #1: Hey.
Dad #2: Hey, how's it going?
Read MoreWe escaped for a quick weekend trip and I left this handy baby care guide behind to make sure our 10-month-old was properly managed...
Read MoreOur middle child, Bennett, is turning three this week and I’ve been thinking a lot about the rocking chair in his bedroom. We got it from a friend a few years ago and though it was like new at the time, it is starting to show its age. The fabric is worn in some spots and it has plenty of stains, but, most importantly, it holds a lot of memories.
Read MoreBy now you’ve probably seen (and maybe forgot about) the unfortunate professor whose live interview on BBC was interrupted by his two children.
Read MoreMy almost 3-year-old, Bennett, was up early one morning recently. Of course, him being up early isn’t unusual; he’s almost always the first up. But this time was different because it was the first morning he felt the need to blatantly troll me while I was still half asleep.
Read MoreAs it turns out, parenting is mostly buying stuff in giant cardboard boxes and then making room in your house for the empty cardboard boxes to live for about a month or so. Most recently for us the boxed purchase was a red car bed for our soon-to-be 3-year-old.
Read MoreDon’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.
Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.
Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.
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Q: Do I have more (cereal/cookies/crackers)?
A: You both have exactly the same amount. I carefully counted the items and, to ensure accuracy, I weighed out each portion on this scale right here. You can rest assured that this scale is completely real. Thus, I have verified that the amount each of you has is identical in both number and total weight. *
Read MoreAs we reach the end of the first week of our new nightmare reality, why not take a few moments to click on these links and read some things I wrote this month elsewhere on the internet. If you haven't read them yet, that is, or even if you have. You know you want to...
Father "Kind of Bummed" He Didn't Receive Praise From Strangers While Shopping With His Children - MockMom
6 Parenting New Year's Resolutions You're Sure to Break by 9:30 A.M. on January 1st - MockMom
How to Get Your Baby Started on Solid Foods in 10 Easy Steps - Parent.co
The Cover Letter of a Fox Applying for the Job of Hen House Guard - Robot Butt
I Fully Support This Active Volcano in My Neighborhood Because I Think We Need Change - Robot Butt
5-Year-Old Thinks Poop Joke is Hilarious - MockMom
Golden Globes "In Memoriam" Tribute Rumored to be 30-Minutes Long - MockMom (Joke is on me for this one. Turns out the Golden Globes don't even have an in memoriam. Oops.)
What am I going to tell my three young children? How am I going to explain to them that a man who routinely peddles sexism, racism, and xenophobia was elected to our country’s highest office? What should I say when the leader of the free world mocks the disabled or brags about assaulting women? How do I teach them to be good parents when the President of the United States calls parenting women’s work? What do I say to counteract the vitriol that poisons our society, right from the very top?
Read MoreAs the Obama years come to an end, allow me a moment to reflect on the handshake that propelled President Obama’s run to the White House. The handshake was, of course, with me.
Yes, in August of 2008, the junior senator from Illinois made a campaign stop in my hometown of Titusville for some reason and he shook my hand first, right after his speech, because he knew what was up.
Read MoreA new year has arrived and you know what that means: Time to buy some new toys for your infant!
Picking out the perfect baby toy can be a real challenge because there are so many options to choose from and there is no room for error. It is critical that you select toys that will challenge your baby intellectually and are sufficiently resistant to drool.
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